But all my friends back home are lawyers

Well that's not true. Some of them are doctors too. And according to Facebook, all of them are married or engaged. Their weddings are big, showy affairs in massive churches, to which everyone from my high school gets invited. Aren't people supposed to get less attractive as they get older? Apparently not in Texas. The brides are beautiful. The bridesmaids are beautiful. Everyone is beautiful. And extraordinarily gainfully employed.

It's not that I want any of this, really. I love my boyfriend and our apartment and the time I have to write. It's just...the other day, my uncle introduced me to a friend of his like this: "She's studying writing, but she's way beyond all that. You know, she went to Brown," and I'm still trying to figure out what he meant. At my cousin's bridal shower a few weeks ago, surrounded by girls with blow-dried hair and Columbia law degrees, asked to introduce myself and talk about what I do, I found myself stricken with shyness and completely at a loss. I'm not sure what it's going to take to get beyond all this. A book deal? A staff writer job? Some other impossible token I can wave around to prove to people that I actually do something? Up until about a year ago, I kept an LSAT book in my closet, just in case. I moved to a new place a few weeks ago, and I left it behind. It's time to move beyond that option, I think. I just wish I knew what I was moving towards.