Writing Spirals Down

I should be careful falling in to these existential thought spirals about writing.

Why write? Why spend all this time formulating thoughts, shaping them into a whole, editing it, taking out even the parts I like because they don't work or don't fit, rewriting the whole thing then hating it because it's not as good as it could be.

I'll publish it - if I'm lucky - or just post it on Facebook or maybe one of the websites that pays you a penny when someone reads it... like that's what a real writer does.

Eventually, someone might read it. They probably won't like it. (That's my first thought). Ok, they might like it but then what? It's not like they're going to print it and keep it. All this work for, what, a couple minutes of distraction for someone I don't know?

Even good writers, they slave their whole lives to produce one or two works that might be read for 100 or so years after they die... unless you're Shakespeare or something.

The joy is the process, right? Yeah, that sounds like fun. Writing's really hard! The "process" sucks. I agonize over everything, wondering if it even makes sense. Even this "stream-of-consciousness" blog post... I'm working it over, tweaking things, making things sound better - more writerly - than when I first puke-typed them out.

I like photography because at the very least you have a finished product every time. But that's too easy, I feel like I'm not a real artist - is that even the right word? - um, a real creative person when I take photos. It's all already there, all I'm doing is putting it all on a digital sensor. Whatever I've written is always incomplete in my mind, even if it's good, it's still that far from being something perfect. Besides, I'm sure someone else out there can write the same thing way better.

This tweet just popped up on my desktop:

@Quotes4Writers: “You don’t need confidence. Just write.” Paula Fox (Born 1923) Novelist

Whatever, Paula, you may not need confidence but you do need talent. "Just write?" Yeah, sure, sounds like a plan.

I mean, why even write this? So 6 people can skim it? No offense, of course, guys. But really what's the point?

It goes on like that...I'd better stop.