On slow days at my old job, my inveterate foodie boss used to recite recipes for me from memory. Here's one that rooted itself in my psyche and seems determined now to remain there forever. I don't foresee any of us making this any time soon, but I'm of the firm opinion that there are certain pieces of information the general public should know.
Ortolan (Note: In France, this is illegal.)
Ingredients:
Ortolan
Armagnac
Figs and oats
Large napkin or other cloth suitable for covering the face
Plucking utensil
Step 1: Find and trap a live Ortolan, a small species of migratory bird not unlike a sparrow.
Step 2: Store your Ortolan in a cage in a darkened room. Feed it constantly on oats and figs (especially figs) until it reaches twice its normal size.
Step 3: Using the plucking utensil, remove your ortolan's eyes.
Step 4: Obtain a pot filled with Armagnac. Submerge your Ortolan in the liqueur until it drowns.
Step 5: Roast Ortolan in preheated oven for 5-7 minutes, or until crisp.
Step 6: Cover your face with the napkin to better enjoy the unique mix of aromas and to hide your shame from God. Consume Ortolan feathers and all, making sure to discard the head.
(Fun fact: Francois Mitterand enjoyed this dish as part of his last meal.)
P.S. Also, cod milt.
Being a member of PETA, as well as a former vegetarian, there is something strangely disturbing to me about this...I consider myself to have a dark sense of humor, but maybe the symbolism from Susan Glaspell's "Trifles"/"A Jury of her Peers" is too haunting for me to enjoy a recipe about plucking out its eyes, drowning the bird and eating it crisp.
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